WARNING: Australia is Full of Things that Will Kill You (Bugger it; Visit Anyway)

Alright it’s time to get serious. Australia
is a deadly country.

Insanely deadly.

We have more deadly snakes than any other country, the largest
crocodiles in the world, box jelly fish that will kill you in eight
minutes, killer hairy spiders, Irukandji jellyfish so small you
can’t see them, and extremely deadly cone fish and stonefish
you’ve never heard of, and of course, bull sharks and great

They are waiting with every breath to get you!

koalas in sydney

Australia is so dangerous, our Prime Minister went for a swim
one night and never returned

How does one lose a Prime Minister? Only a country swarming with
insane predators can do that.

I don’t know how Craig and I have survived for over 40 years
without even one snake or spider bite.

There was that one time when my best friend was startled awake
at 2:30am by the massive, furry, icky huntsman spider falling off
the roof and onto her face, but even she survived that.

There was also the one time I stood up and flushed our camp
toilet in our remote
pearling camp
in the middle of the Kimberly and saw a bright
green tree frog swimming around, knowing that somewhere nearby was
that python that liked to call our cabins home.

Low and behold the frog did not jump up and we never saw the

Although we saw plenty of snakes slithering across the paths as
we walked around at night. Dingoes howled and crept around
somewhere off in the shadows behind the baobab trees.

And those pesky crocs were always waiting on the other side of
the boats as we got in each morning hoping one of us would stray
from the comforting group and become his breakfast.

But it never happened.

Baby koala at Australia Zoo, Queensland, Australia

Even our precious kangaroos and koalas can give you a great old
fight. Yes. Doped out koalas can be ferocious fighters and we
don’t call them boxing kangaroos for nothing.

I have been a witness to a friends child getting a (gentle)
punch on the head by a roo and Craig’s sister was beat up a
little when she was little. (No one was seriously injured, and yes
Australians will laugh at things like this!)

Even those rarely sighted cassowaries can slice you from head to
toe with one kick.

And then there are the drop bears. Too traumatic to write about.
All I can say is just don’t let them stop you from visiting
Australia. You’ll regret it.

The most haunting one of all was the day a tick buried
itself into my leg in Narooma
and I ran down the street howling
and screaming for the nearest medical clinic to

“get this thing outta me!”

Trauma as a result of tick
bite fever in Africa
. Yep. With all THEIR dangerous man eating
animals, a little tick I never saw took me down and made me think I
was going to die. I’m still glad I went to Africa because it was
AWESOME and full of beautiful memories and adventurous stories to

Carnarvon Gorge National Park, Queensland, Australia

Very important to understand about my warning

A very important note to add here, as I am sure many people will
only read the first part of this post and jump to the comments to
lay out their best insults as to how I am fear mongering and
RUINING tourism in Australia.

I AM Joking. J.O.K.I.N.G. Being facetious. Messing around, You
get it.

I’m actually writing this post to help improve tourism in
Australia because you have no idea how many people are not visiting
our beautiful country because of all of our animals lining up at
the arrivals hall waiting to Take. Them. Down.

You’ve heard about our strict quarantine and immigration laws
and procedures.

This his how we do it.

Saving on the cost of manpower by bringing out the deadlies to
sting, bite or maul anyone who does get through quarantine and

We’ve seen the population crisis the rest of the world is
having.  We want to keep our extremely large island to continue to
have one of the world’s smallest populations.

flock of galahsJust let the galahs
be abundant

Except in terms of birdlife because our country is overrun with
galahs, cockatoos and lorikeets so loud at sunset you can’t hear
the person talking beside you!

Ah, I love my country!

Oh I forgot about the magpies!! Australia’s most feared bird.
Just wear a helmet when walking through parks as they like to swoop
at your head and pluck your hairs for their nest. Be sure to cover
your eyes and you’ll be fine.

We were chased by a few birds on our road trip around Australia
protecting their babies (as I tried to protect mine) . It gave us
loads of giggles.

The Two Biggest Reasons Americans Won’t Travel To Australia
Esperance, Western AustraliaYou really want to miss out
on this?

I always knew Australia had the reputation as being a dangerous
place with all our deadly animals. But, what has surprised me so
much living in America is the number of Americans who say it’s
one reason they don’t want to travel to Australia.

Now. no insults please. It’s perfectly understandable.

I am
terrified of bears
and the thought has crossed my mind several
times not to travel to grizzly bear territory.  I think our
deadliest animals are easier to manage and stay away from than a
pissed off grizzly bear you may just happen to stumble across.

I talk with many Americans about their desire to travel to
Australia and the two biggest reasons that hold them back are:

  1. It’s such a long flight
  2. You have so many things that can kill you

Seriously it’s the second, if not, first biggest reason.
It’s crazy and it means Australia has some work to do to share
the truth!

I don’t care how much Tourism Australia spends on their latest
celebrity ridden commercial for the Super Bowl.

Americans have enough desire to travel to Australia, but they
won’t visit until these first two problems are solved (as well as
the high cost of travel in Australia AND their lack of vacation

kangaroos on the beachkangaroos on
the beach in Esperance

For our American friends, I would HATE for you to miss out on my
beautiful, exotic, adventurous, friendly country because of the
fear of our animals.

Have you forgotten about all the dangerous animals in the US?
Bears, mountain lions, snakes that are better at killing you,
sharks (ah yes Jaws! We recently saw a great white shark warning on
the beach at Martha’s
), alligators, buffalos, moose, and did I mention
Grizzly Bears?

You have it worse than us!

I’m sure, like me you’ve never really worried about all the
deadlies surrounding you, you just know they were part of your
environment and learned how to get along with them.

Although I will tell you I am terrified of crocodiles.,
They’re the only Australian animal that has almost gotten in the
way of my travels. But I learned a very simple way to protect

Know where they live and under no circumstances go in the water
or near the water’s edge.

Oh okay and sharks. I’ve always been bothered by them since
watching Jaws. But it doesn’t stop me from swimming in the

Learn Mick Fanning’s boxing technique to defeat a Great White.
That’s how we do it Down Under.

Just look at those above stories I get to share. I’ve lived
and traveled through the remote areas where the deadliest of
deadlies are and not one bite.

Facts don’t lie. The truth about our animal related deaths in
Australia You will see many wild emus on your road trip with kids in South Australia. It's the most we've seen in Australia Click to read more tips on things to do on the Eyre PeninsulaYou will see many
wild emus in South Australia
. It’s the most we’ve seen in

Australians are quite proud of the fact that the top 10 most
deadly animals call the Great South Land home. Just look how
awesomely fierce we are!

The truth is:

  • Australia’s dangerous animals kill about five people each
    year. We’re all bark no bite!
  • You actually have more chance of being killed by a horse or
    drowning. Yep. 300 people drown a year in comparison!
  • Nobody in Australia has died from a spider bite since 1979
    after the successful introduction of antivenom for all native
  • There have been 35 snake bite deaths recorded between 2000 to
    2016, mostly men near their homes (23 of those by the brown snake
    and 1/5th of those were due to people trying to pick them up!)
  • Three people die on average a year from a shark attack.
  • A study in 2013 (the earliest stats I could find) by
    Charles Darwin University
    found that since 1971, there were
    about 2.8 attacks per year over of which only 0.6% were fatal.
    Australia has the highest density of saltwater crocs in the world,
    so those stats are pretty outstanding and prove we’re not that
    scary and we have great crocodile management programs in

In fact, statistics will show that more people are killed by
vending machines falling on top of them than a crocodile attack.
Damn those machines that entrap my packet of chips. I just want to
shake them until they give it back to me.

Most crocodile victims are found to have alcohol in their system
and were playing Hero Games with their drunk buddies.

“I bet you $10 I can swim to the other side of this

Snap! “I bet you, you can’t” goes the croc.

$10!!! Are you kidding me? What’s in that alcohol to make you
think that’s a good deal?

I know you will never be that stupid!

A few things to help ease your fears Australian snakes

deadly australian snakes

Wahoo. Yes we have 8 of the most deadliest snakes in

Here are a few things we learned traveling around the country
and speaking with rangers in educational facilities.

The chances of you getting bitten and then dying of a snakebite
in Australia are low because:

  1. They’re afraid of you and will get out of your way as soon as
    they hear you. (But, not the brown snake. You don’t want to mess
    with the browns. They’re the aggressive ones who’ll strike at
    whim. Kinda like the crocs.)
  2. Aussie snake venom is super poisonous BUT the fangs of our
    snakes are very small, unlike other countries (like yours) whose
    snakes have large fangs. This means the chances of our small fangs
    injecting far enough into the skin to do some real damage are slim.
    That’s why we recommend wearing boots, thick socks and long pants
    when out in the bush. That hard protection saves a lot of
  3. It takes a lot of energy for a snake to inject venom. It tires
    them out so much that often they’ll bite as a warning and not
    release the venom.
  4. If you are bitten and remain still and apply the right first
    aid the venom will travel slow enough to give you time to get the
    antivenom you need to save you.

Don’t fear the snake. They are beautiful animals. I love to
hold them and wrap them around mine and my children’s necks –
pythons that is. Don’t play with the other ones.

Yes, you can hold a Burmese python at Hartley's Crocodile Adventures in Port Douglas, Queensland, Australia

I promise you, it is rare to see snakes. We traveled around
Australia for 18 months and have explored it deeply in many ways
and I think I’ve only seen about 5 snakes in the wild and never
one brown!


I hate spiders way more than snakes.

They are a common presence in Australia’s households, in
particular the creepy huntsman that likes to scurry across your
living room floor as you’re watching TV or jump on your best
friends face at night (only time I’ve heard of that happening by
the way.)

You’ll be fighting your friends for couch space as you leap up

“Craaaaaiiiiig. Get rid of the huntsman. Quick.”

Btw, Kalyra did that just yesterday in our house in Raleigh in
regards to the invading spiders. See they are everywhere!!

We have Daddy long legs, the most venomous spider in the world.
Don’t worry, they are completely harmless as their fangs are way
t0o tiny to hurt you! But their prey better get out of the way.

Then there are the deadly red back spiders and funnel webs.

Red backs like to hide in your shoes, in old tires and under
tables and playground equipment.

Always check your shoes before putting them on in Australia and
perhaps don’t leave them outside.

Funnel Webs are exactly what you picture when you think of
scary, deadly spiders. Black, large and hairy! The females are 10x
more deadly than the males!

I have never seen one in the wild. Except for the legs of that
one in the video above.

Craig had a couple in his swimming pool when he was growing up
(yes they do swim). Just be careful picking up rocks and things in
case they are hiding underneath them,

But, truly you don’t have to worry about them. No deaths since
1979 remember. And they are rare to see.


Whitsunday Crocodile Safari - Queensland, Australia

Just never ever go swimming in the rivers where crocodiles are.
They are in the northern (Top
of the country.

  • Don’t ignore the signs that warn you about them.
  • Be careful of the beaches in the top end as well, as the crocs
    can sometimes be swimming near there, especially if an estuary is
    close by. We saw croc tracks in the mangroves right near one of the
    beaches in the Daintree.
  • Ocean attacks are rare, but I don’t take any chances with the
  • Keep away from the river banks as well. Those cunning hunters,
    will see you way before you see them and will leap right out of
    that water and snap you from the river bank.

See the cute baby alligators at Hartley's Crocodile Adventures in Port Douglas, Queensland, Australia

Craig and I nearly had heart failure one day watching a man
throw rocks into the river with his little boy on the river bank,
only twenty metres away from the jetty where you boarded for the
croc watching tours.

Geez!! Do not do that!!

There are plenty of beautiful watering holes in the Top End.
They look perfect for swimming and you may be so hot that you
can’t resist. Resist, unless it is clearly marked safe for
swimming. Always ask a ranger or a local.

The Top End also has freshwater crocodiles which are so cute and
pretty much harmless.
I’ve swam in places where they are before
. Again ask the
locals. But as long as you stay away from them (they are very shy)
they will leave you alone.

The only rare attacks that have happened are because of the
idiots that have cornered them and provoked them.

Box jellyfish and Irukandji

box jellyfish will kill you

These ocean critters come out in the warm summer months when the
ocean water around the 30 degree temperatures. This makes for a
nuisance when you visit the Top End, which is where they live.

I don’t recommend you visit the Top End during the summer
anyway because of this and because it is very hot and wet. Pay
attention to the signs on our beaches. They will warn you of any
dangers, especially stingers!

If you do visit places
like Cairns
, at this time of the year, you will be given
stinger suits when you dive or snorkel the
Great Barrier Reef
. These will keep you protected.

Jellyfish account for (at time of writing) 66 deaths since
records began in 1883. The box jellyfish was responsible for 64
deaths, and the Irukandji the other two. It sounds a lot, but still
less than one death per year, more like just half a death per


sharks in australia

I’ve swam in beaches all around the country, and have rarely
had a shark incident. I think I’ve only ever been pulled out of
the water once. Kalyra
was having a surfing lesson
and the lifeguards spotted a
suspicious animal. They had us out of the water super fast.

Yes. Shark attacks happen. But they don’t happen as often as
you think.

Try not to look like a seal and don’t swim at dawn or

Good news is our lifeguards are awesome at keeping you safe.
Just listen to them!

Rip tides are more dangerous than sharks in our beaches. If you
are not a strong swimmer then stay close to shore, ask a local if
there are any rips to be aware of, and always swim between the

This is the area that is monitored by the lifeguards and
generally have the safest water conditions.

If you are a surfer though, you won’t be allowed here. But
I’m sure you already know a lot about water safety, and aren’t
scared of sharks, so this post is probably not for you.

All wild animals cool Aussie signsYou’ll love our
animal road signs

Just let them be and be free. They’re more scared of you.

I know you want that selfie with the kangaroo, but get in his
space and he may just bop you one.

Do you blame him? I’d want to do the same if someone was
harassing me just for a few likes on social

There are plenty of animal sanctuaries in Australia where you
can feed kangaroos and cuddle koalas. These are all safe places to
do so. The animals are closely monitored and protected by the
rangers. They will also protect you!

Bilby experience in CharlevilleThe beautiful rare and

endangered Australian bilby in Charleville

Just think of the amazing memory you have to share with your
daughter for the rest of her life of that time you both walked into
the outback dunny and opened the lid to see a green tree frog
staring at you (they are not dangerous by..

Source: FS – All-Travel destinations-News
WARNING: Australia is Full of Things that Will Kill You (Bugger it; Visit Anyway)